Rebecca (00:00.646)
Hello and welcome to the Champagne Lounge podcast. Today I'm joined by the wonderful Kylie Dennis. Welcome to the show, Kylie.
Kylee Dennis (00:08.042)
Hi, Bec, how are you?
Rebecca (00:10.278)
I am really good. And I'm so excited for this conversation today, because you and I have known each other for a long time. We met through mutual networking events when we were in Sydney. And over the last few years, you've grown existing businesses to the next scale. And you've also started something new, which I'm excited to dive into today. So for anyone that doesn't know you and hasn't watched any of the stuff we've talked about in terms of your
new business and hasn't been watching the media coverage you've been getting recently. What is it that you're doing right now in terms of your business?
Kylee Dennis (00:44.746)
Right now, I created two face investigations from a phone call that said, mum has a boyfriend. And from that phone call, I have delved into the manipulative and deceptive world of romance scammers. So I investigate romance scammers to protect victims or clients. And then I also,
have an education for the eradication of romance scamming, which leads into a thing called pig butchering scams, extortion, and then the educational of how human trafficking works with romance scamming and all that in between. So yeah, that's how that started. Four words.
Rebecca (01:19.398)
Wow.
Rebecca (01:24.934)
Yeah, that's pretty huge. So for any, you know, your background working as a police officer for a very long time has got you into this field of work. And I know for you, it was a long time in working out what it was that Kylie wanted to do after leaving the force. So give us a bit of a background as to what your background is to enable you to do such incredible impactful work right now.
Kylee Dennis (01:51.466)
So I joined the cops when I was 19, so only a couple of years ago, and I spent about 14 years in the cops and I trained as a detective and I did hostage negotiation and I trained in undercover and child protection and a bit of intelligence. I worked in the inner city and then I ended my career in child protection. My husband's a hotelier, so he bought a business.
And it's a bit of a sad thing because I had my second baby, part -time wasn't on offer, we couldn't juggle this big business in hospitality. So then I left and then I moved into the world of hospitality and have been running quite significant venues for the last 20 years. So, and then along the way I did a business law degree and a couple of other little things here and there. And then of course, this sort of, you know, came about, you know, from that phone call, but like you said,
we've met and there was this part of like, where am I? Who am I? What am I doing? I'm very good at HR and all that within the business. I just needed that something. And I didn't know what that was until that phone call. And I think I've just reversed back to what I learned in the police, in investigation and collecting of information and sort of dealing with dealing with people who are very...
sad and ashamed and just concerned about either their family or even themselves. So I've been, yeah, it's very lucky that I can do that.
Rebecca (03:23.558)
Mm.
Rebecca (03:27.558)
I think it's fabulous to be able to have a passion, have a skill set and come away from it and go back to it and use it in a different way. Very much so. But for you, like I've watched your journey now for the last five, I'm gonna say five years, possibly even slightly longer. So for someone who would maybe in a similar position where they've stopped doing the work that they were enjoying doing, they've gone down a different path or they're...
Kylee Dennis (03:37.002)
Oh, absolutely.
Rebecca (03:54.054)
working in a business right now going, Oh, this isn't satisfying me. You know, it wasn't an overnight decision and an overnight light bulb moment for you to go, aha, I've got it. This is what Kylie's going to be moving forward. What was that process like for you over that journey of five years? Cause I remember our first meeting where you go, I'm lost. I don't know who I am or what I'm standing for. I'm great at what I'm doing in the pubs, but
Kylee Dennis (04:00.266)
9.
Rebecca (04:18.054)
I don't know. And what have been the big milestones, I guess, along the last five years for you to get to where you are now? Because I know there's a lot of lost people out there and I know there's going to be some gems in what you share.
Kylee Dennis (04:19.498)
Yes.
Kylee Dennis (04:26.186)
Mmm.
Kylee Dennis (04:29.93)
I think the biggest thing for me was to join a network that I knew nothing of, like knew nobody. So like you talk about that first meeting, that dinner where I stood up and said, hi, I'm Kylie and I'm lost and I've got nothing to offer, basically. And like you said, I was really good, still am good in the HR part of my business, but I was missing something and I didn't know what it was, whether it was...
Well, I didn't know. I just knew that I wanted something more. So I think the biggest thing for me was, was to go out and join networks. You know, go out there and meet amazing women. And walk, walking cold into a room is, for me, is just awful. I find it really, really hard to do instead of going around and meeting people and shaking hands and, oh, nice to meet you. But I think that was that to me.
was the start of my journey to lead to me to where I am now. And going out and like we talk about going to meeting people, going to retreats, going to dinners, just talking and listening, listening to everybody and taking a bit of pieces, bit of information from everybody.
Rebecca (05:45.286)
Well, it helps to be able to talk things through. And I don't think even with years and years of practice, walking into a cold room when you don't know anyone, it's still scary. You know, it's still a hard thing to do, particularly if you don't know what it is that you're walking in and standing for. I think it's quite a scary thing, but you're right in terms of those conversations and just having those listening moments and listening to what people are wanting or they're curious about background or can you help with scenarios?
Kylee Dennis (05:55.338)
Let's go.
Rebecca (06:15.014)
they're all the conversations it's okay to have. I think people are scared to have conversations where they get to ask the pointy questions or be a bit curious and dig a little bit deeper. And so I would very much be a believer that no question is a silly question when it comes to meeting a new person or doing anything like that. So what would be, walking into a cold room, what would be the thing that you start conversations with?
Kylee Dennis (06:23.658)
Yes. Yep.
Rebecca (06:42.598)
because I know what my answer would be.
Kylee Dennis (06:46.026)
I always, I think once I take that big gulp of, I can do this, I like to say, like, tell me a bit about, you know, what do you do? Tell me a bit about you. Because I, you know, that's how, because there will be something within that conversation that I'll go, oh, we've got the same thing. Oh, you know, this person, or you like this, or, you know, you like that. But I also think that if you, if you sort of...
You've got to be honest. So if you walk in a room and say, tell me a bit about you and they ask you about you and you start talking about who you are, it's okay to then say, you know, I'm feeling just a little bit lost. I'm just feeling, you know, cause you just never know what they're going to give you as advice. Cause I think that's really, I think we, we all have this belief that we're so strong and we can do this and there's nothing wrong by saying, actually, I don't know where I'm going.
I got no idea. And I think that's walking into the room and asking them about, asking someone about themselves, but then you being honest to them as well. But you know, you also know too, you will find somebody that you go, I really like that person. So you tend to then really dive a bit more into a conversation, but that walking, that walking straight into the room, I think that's one of the hardest things and the most bravest things to do in a networking event is huge, huge.
Rebecca (08:08.486)
That takes huge courage to walk into the room, but also courage to have the vulnerable conversations, I think, and to be able to put yourself out there. Oh, I know one of the things that I wanted to start doing when I started going to networking events and we all have to go through these phases of putting ourselves out there all the time when we're creating something new. I would either wear something that someone would go, Ooh, like she's got a statement piece on and I get noticed and people come talk to me or.
Kylee Dennis (08:13.194)
Absolutely.
Rebecca (08:36.902)
I'd make sure I'd beeline for the person that had, I really love those shoes. Like, or I really love that jacket. Where's it from? And that started the conversation before I got into, you know, who are you? What do you do? I needed something to start the conversation for me. And that was always finding something about someone in the room that I genuinely was like, I love that. Can you tell me more about it?
Kylee Dennis (08:57.674)
You know, I'm stealing that now. I love that because I love shoes. So that's just, that's me through. You'll watch me now in an event. I'll be just watching everyone's feet.
Rebecca (08:59.43)
You
Rebecca (09:08.838)
Shoes, earrings, jewelry. There'll be something somewhere that someone's got a piece on that just enables you to just start that conversation, I think. And to be able to have that, yeah, break the ice moment.
Kylee Dennis (09:11.594)
What?
Kylee Dennis (09:18.346)
I love it. Yeah. That's really good. I'm actually doing a course, a course about, you know, that, that whole idea, how to enter a room, how to, how to use language, how to start a conversation off without going arm. So that I'm going to use that. They're going to think I'm really clever.
Rebecca (09:38.374)
Yeah. Use it and work it. And the other thing I've learned too is when you ask someone's name, because I don't know if you go through this, I can say, hey, I'm Rebecca, what's your name? And then you completely don't listen to what they've said. So really focus in on what their name is and then make sure you use it two or three times before you leave that person. And it sticks in your brain a lot better than just asking it once.
Kylee Dennis (09:50.026)
Mm -hmm.
Kylee Dennis (09:55.018)
interesting.
interesting.
I am quite happy to flag that I have a terrible memory for people's names. So everyone is, hi, darling, hi, sweetie. How you going? Well, I'm like the devil wears Prada with my husband because I have to have him stand there and I'll say to him, who's coming up now? Who's coming up now? The one in the blue jacket? What's their name? Okay, right. Hi, how are you?
Rebecca (10:11.046)
And that's okay too.
Kylee Dennis (10:26.186)
It's awful, but I like that. I can keep using their names. It's hard if you can't pronounce their name, but that's okay. We'll work on that. It's a work.
Rebecca (10:31.398)
Yeah, yeah, you know, it doesn't always work, but you know, there's an option there to use it. And I think you touched on them and we touched on it before we hit the record button that, you know, starting something new and doing something different. When you come from a background where you've got a business that's working and making money and you're good at it and it's ticking along, but it's not filling your soul and then turning your attention to starting something brand spanking new.
is a really hard thing to do. Like it's a really hard thing to keep focused on your why and the vision and, you know, there's almost no one to copy or not copy. That's the wrong word. Um, there's always no one, no one as to use as inspiration because perhaps it hasn't been done before. You know, how are you navigating that? Cause what you're doing now is so new to the, to the market because technology has evolved so fast and is constantly evolving quickly. How are you navigating?
Kylee Dennis (11:17.29)
Mmm.
Rebecca (11:29.83)
staying on course when you've got all those distractions, but also nothing to sort of go, that's where I'm aiming at.
Kylee Dennis (11:38.09)
Hmm. That's hard because you hit the nail on the head. I don't have like a mentor that I can look to or a business I go, I admire and say, oh, okay, they've done that. But I think I could do that a bit better. I'm going to go down this path. There are a lot of PI firms in Australia, but romance scamming is like on the bottom of their ladder. That's not number one. That is all I do. So I spend a lot of time.
reading, a lot of time engaging with investigators overseas that specifically focus on romance scamming. I've now joined a international group and where it's very new, it's an operation that we're trying to create policy that's going to delve into the world of romance scamming. That will be more given to the White House. But that information is something that we can use here.
So it's all just trying to, it's all just about learning. I mean, and I also, I spent a lot of time talking to scammers. So that's sort of giving me a bit of a, I spent a lot of time, an understanding as to their language and what they're using in that persuasive tactics for victims. So that's how I keep myself right on track. Because I know the more that I talk to a scammer, the more that I'm learning from them. So the more that I can help Aussies from being scammed.
you know, here is a few red flags. And I've been able to get a bit of a playbook that the scammers use. So I can see that what they're saying to me is exactly from this scripted playbook. So it's really interesting. And LinkedIn is one of the, a tool for me is great because we get to talk, you know, the people that are maybe sitting in America, we get to sit down and, you know, send messages and go, Oh, tell me, you know, how did you, how did you learn from that? What did you learn? What was said? So that's.
keeps me going and what actually keeps me going more is that I get phone calls from people that want to tell me their story. So they have been scammed, but they just want someone who's going to have no judgment, has a listening ear and just, you know, wants to sort of say, I've lost $250 ,000. And without someone going, how stupid could you be? I don't do that. I go, well, tell me what happened. And then that's.
Kylee Dennis (14:01.29)
And that keeps me going because I know there's someone out there right now that is sitting at home online dating single in secret and doesn't want to tell anybody. So that keeps me going. The more people talk to me, the more I'm happy because I'm creating a story as to what they're what's going through them and then hopefully helping someone else along the path as well.
Rebecca (14:23.686)
Yeah. So, so from a client perspective for you, I guess, you know, I was always, we've sort of gone down, you've got the people who are worried about friends and family and so they'll reach out, but it could also be someone who's potentially worried about themselves or not so much because then they've kind of gone down it too far. And then they end up telling you that has been story. Like would someone know themselves if they're in that situation?
Kylee Dennis (14:35.306)
Mm -hmm.
Kylee Dennis (14:46.89)
Yes.
Kylee Dennis (14:51.21)
I think there's a bit of a trust your gut. I think what happens is, so right now I've got two pillars. I've got the ones of the family that are contacting me. Then I've got the ones that have known that they have been. So that little part in the middle is that's that area where I want to sort of slowly tap into because there will be someone sitting at home.
going, this isn't right. I know this is right, but I don't want to give it up for the just in case you think about it, you know, just in case I'm not going to leave the house just in case someone rings me. So that's that part. So the these two parts are quite coming in, you know, quite well. But it's that part of that person that needs to it's a gut feeling something's not right. And that's hard, because that's hard to tap into someone because they want that love.
they just, you know, they're sort of, that's where I want to come in and say, all right, let me tell you who you're talking to. So that all sort of hopefully, and that's, that's another difficult discussion. That's a really difficult discussion. And it's interesting because one of the victims actually said the biggest thing that they had was that there was that feeling of shame attached to it, that they've been scammed and they're so ashamed from being scammed that they didn't want to tell anybody. And then when they did tell somebody, people called them stupid. So it's,
And again, we go back to language, you know, that use of negative language, you know, and humans are so good at that. We're so good at telling people how stupid they are. And that's really just sad. Just...
Rebecca (16:27.91)
It's sad because it comes out of, it's an internal dialogue as well as an external one. You know, and the language is so important. Even around from a business owner perspective, right? If you took it out of that, if you didn't get up in the morning and say, you've got this, let's go. You know, all those negative thoughts of who are you? Why are you doing that? Who do you think you are? They all start cropping up. So it can happen anywhere. It's really mindful to be really important to be mindful of the language.
Kylee Dennis (16:32.202)
Mmm, mmm.
Absolutely.
Kylee Dennis (16:48.554)
Yes.
Kylee Dennis (16:56.074)
Oh, absolutely. Well, you think, I mean, we all talk about imposter syndrome, you know, I don't know of anybody who's never felt it all is always feeling, you know, it's just, it's this keeps telling all that person on his shoulder keeps going, you sort of say, stop talking to me, you know, I've got this, leave me alone. So yeah, language is, language is fabulous and awful at the same time can cause just so much harm, which is, which is really sad.
Rebecca (17:22.982)
It is extremely sad, but I think when you're aware of it, and I think that's the important thing. So, you know, as part of these episodes, I always make sure in the show nights I link into your website and your resources so that people can come and find that and have your details on file. But I think in terms of just being aware, listening to podcasts like this, having conversations with people, picking up the phone to a friend, you know, that's why the Champagne Lounge exists, really. It's that case of you just need...
Kylee Dennis (17:50.89)
the room.
Rebecca (17:52.166)
conversation with someone that can have a chat, you know, level you out again, pull you in if you're going a little bit too fast or too far in the wrong direction. And I think it's an important place to be able to have safe conversations like that.
Kylee Dennis (18:05.738)
Oh, absolutely. And you think about it, we do that a lot in, in Champagne Lounge, you know, whether it be, I mean, I don't do Monday morning, I like the, you know, the wine Wednesday that there's a, you know, I get to have a wine and have a chat, but it's, it's truthful language, truthful discussions. It is, I've made a mistake here. What do you think I should do? There's no judgment. It's just easy. It's easy language. And you're right. And we can say, I've made a mistake.
I've made a mistake, you know, what am I going to do? I don't really know what to do. Can anyone help me? Or, you know, sending emails out to the network. Hi everybody. I'm floating down a creek without a paddle. Can someone help me out? So yeah, it is those discussions which yeah, which are good, but they're truthful. I think that's important. Yep. Oh, yes.
Rebecca (18:55.75)
Yeah, it's a tricky thing. And I remember you coming to a retreat last year and going, this is what I'm doing. You know, this is what we're doing. And you put yourself in a safe space with us in a small, intimate environment where there was probably two or three of us going, hmm, probably wouldn't do it that way though. Before you go too far down that path, let's pull it apart and put it all back together again. And I don't think that's at all what you're expecting when you go, here's my big idea. But I know from that, how important it was.
Kylee Dennis (19:09.93)
Hmm... No!
Rebecca (19:23.59)
for you to be able to share that and for everyone in the room to be honest and then to workshop stuff together because doing business can be incredibly lonely and you will fail. And so to be able to change it and tweak it and ask for help along the way is what's going to make you and it successful.
Kylee Dennis (19:32.522)
Yes.
Kylee Dennis (19:41.898)
Well, that has to be the fun. I tell everyone that story because I've walked in there going, I've got my business done, great, locked and loaded, did the presentation and you all sat there and went, yeah, no, I don't get it. No, no, that's not working. I went, oh my God, everything. Oh my God. And then it worked out perfectly. Like it was, you know, three days of going through and going, well, no, have you thought about this? Well, no, I hadn't. And if you do this and oh, that's a great idea. And then...
So that model that I went there with changed into something that was great, is fabulous, you know, and is evolving more. And I think if I went with that first model, I wouldn't be where I am today. I possibly may have certainly drowned because I'd had these ideas that just weren't going to work at all. So yes, that was truth, like, you know, being truthful to each other was fabulous. Funny.
Rebecca (20:36.358)
Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's another example of it takes multiple conversations, right? It's that, that little piece. And yes, we were in a three day environment where we could have the conversations and go away and think about it and come back, but to constantly have the space to go, okay, I'm ready for the next iteration. Or I've gone away and thought about the feedback. Let me move on. Or I want to go and achieve this thing. Do you know anyone that can help me do X, Y, or Z? You know, which I think is.
Kylee Dennis (20:41.674)
Mmm.
Rebecca (21:05.798)
another testament to why conversations are so important because even, even though we don't sit and have conversations specifically about a business problem all the time, those conversations with multiple people can actually help multiple people at so many different levels. It's quite complex yet so simple.
Kylee Dennis (21:20.682)
Oh, and I have to laugh because I remember one point, one of the ladies there said she's sitting at the dining room table and she just went, I just can't be bothered. I just can't be bothered doing this right now. I just need to walk away. It was quite funny, had a bit of a laugh. I mean, even I think I said to you, Bec, I actually don't know what you're talking about, what you want me to do. No, I don't know about, you know, a CRM program or I didn't know this. And I went...
I've got no idea. So it was that talking and yes, that was just that led a whole different path of, you know, of all of us. We all changed everything we did. So, you know, it was fabulous.
Rebecca (21:59.814)
Yeah, huge changes in brainstorming. And then from that, you know, within the community, and we were talking about this offline, I didn't know some of the connections that you've made with other members, but in conversations with other members virtually, like listening to their fireside chats, what have been some of the conversations or aha moments or fantastic new connections that you found just by having a conversation with someone else as part of the community?
Kylee Dennis (22:10.666)
Thank you.
Kylee Dennis (22:26.058)
So when I went to your launch of the Champagne Lounge, again, walking in there cold, not knowing anybody, I mean, I met some amazing people, but one of the ladies, she was so vibrant and bubbly and we're chatting away and I hadn't really launched then. And then when it was time for me to sort of go down the marketing side and I really did not know what to do. So I reached out to Beck Chapel and what, I did not know her, but what an amazing,
amazing interaction. We've been working on the business for a period of time and she's given me ideas that I would not have thought of or gone down that path without first meeting her at the Champagne Lounge. So it's a bit of an inaugural event and then from her, I've joined PR Club with Jamie Abbott, so there's all these different areas of people that you just go, if I had not have joined...
and like certainly significant networking group, I would not have met these people. And so, and poor old Beck, Beck gets emails from me and I'll be in Bunnings and I'll send her an email going, I'm having a breakdown. I think I've done this wrong in the marketing. I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. And so she'll come back and go, oh my God, I look forward to your stupid emails, but I'm honest. So.
And I met her from that and then she reached out to me after your launch. And then that sort of that relationship just kept going and going. So for me, yeah, I think I'd be still sort of sitting here going, I don't know what I'm doing. I know how to investigate, but that other back end, the creation from nothing, it's learned meeting those new people. So yeah, that was fabulous. Fabulous.
Rebecca (24:11.398)
I love that. And Bec's actually on the podcast next week. So there we go. That's perfect timing to let, understand who Bec is and what she does. So she'll be on it next week. But I think, you know, the key takeaways for me from this episode has definitely been, you just need to go in there and give it a go, you know, have a conversation. And as scary as it is, there's always going to be someone there in a safe space to have a conversation that will go, I get it.
Kylee Dennis (24:14.378)
How is - Hello buddy. Oh -
Kylee Dennis (24:27.676)
Yep.
Rebecca (24:38.086)
or I don't get it, I think this or it's all right, you're gonna be fine. So I think that for me, I think this conversation here, what you're doing is absolutely incredible. But I think for a lot of our listeners there, that it's that, oh, I can do it and I should, deep breathing on the way in, walk through the door, say hello.
Kylee Dennis (24:58.57)
Absolutely. Get in there, doesn't matter how old you are, just get in there, keep going. And if you've got, I think everyone's got great ideas, just go out and talk to someone, meet, you know, meet everybody, talk to everybody about it, you know, and it's, and if they, and I think you said it before, if someone says like, you guys did a retreat, no, I don't like that, or I don't really understand that, take that on board.
and then ask more questions. And then all of a sudden you're creating something that is amazing, that you're doing it, but you're doing it with a network of really strong, intelligent, smart, funny women that just lift you up. And I love it. I just, I love it. I think women are just, I think, I think we're amazing. Absolutely amazing. 100%.
Rebecca (25:48.102)
We are amazing. We're incredible, incredibly, incredibly amazing women and humans. And there's so much power in conversation and sharing learnings and sharing wisdom. So Kylie, thank you so much for coming on the show today. I think it's been fantastic.
Kylee Dennis (25:53.002)
Absolutely.
Kylee Dennis (26:04.746)
Thanks, Bec. It's always good to have a chat.
