Transcription
00:00:01
Joining me on the show today is a dear friend and my mentor for last six or seven years. We've lost track of time. It's the wonderful Janine Garner. Janine, welcome to the oh, it's so. Wonderful to be know.
00:00:14
When you ask, you know, I'm going to jump. I love everything that you do, Becca. Thank you. That means so much to me because you're also jumping in and being part of the Champagne Lounge roadshow, which is happening simultaneously to when this episode goes live. And I'm just so grateful to have you in my orbit, have you part of the roadshow and on the show, it's like a double whammy.
00:00:34
It's going to be so exciting. I remember when we first had a little conversation about the idea of the roadshow and I remember you going, do you think I could? And I was like, why not? And as always happens when we catch up, this little spark of idea just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And what I love about you, Becca, is you just make it happen.
00:00:52
And so I'm super excited to see it come to life and I cannot wait to meet all the incredible women that you're bringing together. It's going to be so much fun. It's going to be so much fun. But this conversation isn't about the roadshow as much as it's going to be amazing. And you can definitely find out about that at my website, rebeccasaurdis.com roadshow, if you want to understand what the roadshow is all about.
00:01:12
But today's conversation, I wanted to talk to you about network and community because in my eyes and in my world, you're the queen of connection, the queen of making connections last. And I'm going to lead that into friendships, but I want to take that a little bit further on. But you and I met, I'm going to say, eight years ago. I'll take a punt eight years ago at an LBD dinner. Tell me a little bit about LBD.
00:01:36
What is it, why did you start it? And what was the reasoning behind getting women together for dinner? It was one of those, really one of my first accidental business ideas that ended up becoming something. And it started off I was working corporately at the time, so I was group marketing director at Oriton Group. I also had three children under seven, I think, at the time.
00:02:03
I still got them, by the way. They're just a little bit older now, just a little bit older. But life was mental. I'm sure, like any of your listeners that may still be in corporate land, the juggle was insane. We had no family here in Australia and so we were doing everything.
00:02:22
Our children were totally institutionalized, dropping off as soon as the daycare would open up and often having to sell body parts because we'd left them five minutes later than we could at closing time. But life was crazy. And to be honest with you, I just felt like a robot. I was busy serving everybody else, serving had the joy of looking after the Ralph Lauren brand. So I was busy serving Mr.
00:02:47
Lauren in the US. I was looking after the Oraton brand here. So reporting into the leadership team here, reporting into the media, managing the medium, managing retail stores and all the marketing, managing my team, managing suppliers, managing budgets and coming home and somehow managing children and somehow managing food. And at the bottom of the pile was my husband, if I'm really honest. And then me.
00:03:16
And I just got to this point where I went, this is crazy. And what I was seeing at the time, Becca, there were loads of little women's groups starting to set up, but I just didn't feel they were my vibe. I felt like I just wanted to keep using my brain, and I felt like I'd lost it. As I said, I felt like this robot that was just moving through life. And I went, there's got to be women out there that want to have smart conversations.
00:03:46
There's got to be women out there that want to talk about life and future and how to keep making an impact, not just about the juggle of work, life balance and what our children are doing, et cetera, et cetera. And so, a bit like you've done with the Champagne Lounge? I went, okay, I can't find one. I'll create my own. And so I reached out LinkedIn.
00:04:10
At the time, Facebook wasn't as big as it is now. Instagram wasn't as big as it now. LinkedIn was the channel of choice. So I reached out to eight incredible women that I had looked up to, that I admired, that I'd love to have a conversation with. They didn't really know me from Adam, and I invited them to dinner.
00:04:31
And that, essentially, is where LBD started. And from day one, I shared my vision of building a community of commercially smart, driven, ambitious women that wanted to have smart conversation, that had this underlying philosophy around the need to connect and the need to collaborate and the fact that we could become more together. And from day one, I shared that. We had some great conversations on that first dinner. And at the end of that dinner, the ladies around the table said, can we do this again?
00:05:04
And I went, yeah, sure. And so essentially for about three months, because I was still working corporately at this time, I started hosting these dinners, and these women would come and they'd bring a guest. And it just got to this point where I crunched some numbers and I went, oh, I think I might have a little business model here. And, yeah, essentially left my corporate job and bootstrapped the creation of LBD. Initially, it was the little black dress group, and I gave it that name to start with because the messaging around it was every single one of us has an LBD.
00:05:42
Every single one of us puts on our version of the LBD for the image that we want to create externally. But actually, when you take that dress off, we're all exactly the same. We've all got our same hang ups, we've all got our same self doubts. We've all got our same challenges. We've all got stuff going on that makes us the amazing women that we are.
00:06:03
So it started off as little black dress group. It then evolved to LBD group. We ended up running that community across the whole of Australia, and in 2019, I sold it to an incredible woman, Paula Kensington. So, yeah, that's where it all started. It's amazing, and I love that it's continued and the friendships formed at that table.
00:06:28
I remember sitting at my first dinner going, wow. Like, I'm around people that get me, who know me or don't know me, but know me on a level that I don't even think I even know myself yet. So that level of conversation, and I remember someone saying to me afterwards, if you get to go join up the membership, do all the things, and if you get to go to retreat, like, say yes. I was like, okay. So I remember literally getting that call from your assistant at the time saying, did you want to become a member here of the options?
00:06:57
And I went, I'll have what car is having. She's like, oh, okay. Do you have any questions? I'm like no questions. Because I just knew that this was the vibe I had to be around.
00:07:07
Right. Little did I know that I'd signed up to the top tier and was going on some retreat once a year, which, fast forward eight years. We've just finished, like, in a Circle retreat that you still run for that small group of women that are at the top of what was the membership that I know you kept separately as Inner Circle for you. But wow, just eight years of being part of that world and those networks and connections. And one of the things that was a real driver in the conversations we had in the last week at Inner Circle was around the knowingness of the friendships and not just the connections.
00:07:45
Why do you think that's formed and forged so strongly within such a small, intimate group of women now? And do you think it's possible in a bigger space? I absolutely think it's possible, but it requires so much of all of us. A mentor of mine said to me, Janine, you're just a genius around connection and community building. And I think it is one of know, we've all got a superpower.
00:08:12
And one of my superpowers is this ability to connect and forge and build community. And when I talk about that, it's not just in terms of the people in it, but individually. And it comes from an absolute deep desire in me to get to know the people I work with. I've written a book about networking. It's who, you know, I am apparently a thought leader, world leading expert in networking.
00:08:41
But what many people might not realize is I'm actually an incredible introvert. I find going to large scale networking events really hard work and really exhausting. I'm quite a private person and I think, looking back, that's probably why I've created the community that I have of attracting women that do want to have those really good conversations, that are willing to sit in the space of curiosity and exploration, of trying to understand what is it that they're really wanting to do. And I think my approach as a community leader, as it were, is this absolute desire and knowing to know the people in my world, but also to connect them with other people. And so I think it is possible, but it requires a lot of effort and it requires effort from everyone involved.
00:09:38
It is not about just deciding to set up a network and suddenly trying to build it as big as possible. And it becoming highly transactional because we see that the BS factor just kicks out and our radar of being seen and heard really starts getting triggered. And I think to build a really solid community that lasts over time, it's this combination, you've actually got to grow with it. You talk about being on Inner Circle last week. The reality, Becca, is that, yes, we've known each other eight, nine years.
00:10:15
We've got people in that community now that have been with me for ten years and we have grown up together. Your business was very different eight years ago to where it's at now. And it's this ability to really get to know the people in your world, to be truly interested in what is going on for them. And it's more than just the business. Business is just a small part of it.
00:10:40
We've all got so many facets of ourselves, whether it be the stage of life that we're at, the transitions that we are going through as women, the things that we are juggling with from a care factor. There's just stuff goes on which contributes to where our business is at and you got to take an interest in that. But the flip side of it, and you heard me share this conversation last week, is the people in the community have to feel safe enough to be willing to open up and to share. And that's really hard in the female space because as women, the reality is we have grown up. Doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't matter whether you're in your 50s like me or in your 30s like you or I think about my daughter, and we've had conversations about my daughter who turns 18.
00:11:31
For some reason, as women, unconsciously or consciously, we go into competition and I don't know why. And that composition presents itself as protection. So we don't really share what's really going on. We don't really ask for help, and you saw this last week. We don't really show our total vulnerabilities because we're protecting ourselves.
00:11:58
And I think it's because through the years, we've had to face the schoolyard bullies. We've maybe faced the Queen Bees in the workforce, potentially. We've faced racism or sexism through the work that we've done. We've faced all mounts of stuff. And so we get into this survival mode.
00:12:20
And so this ability to build trust and safety is really key. But when you do it, that community becomes so strong, as you saw last week, where suddenly people are sharing really what's going on. And when we look at a lot of community work right now, it's based on what we're achieving, what we're achieving, what we're achieving, what we're achieving. And so unconsciously, we're fueling this competition. Totally.
00:12:47
My piece right now is my work. Right now, the reason I do what I do, my purpose, is unleashing the brilliance in these amazing women that are already doing it harder than the person next to them. It's not easy building your own business. It's not easy juggling multiple balls. It's not easy funding that business or worrying about where the next piece of cash is coming from or putting yourself out on stage or launching a book.
00:13:20
It's not easy selling into corporate. This stuff isn't easy. But the women I work with and the women you work with and connect with have all taken that journey. And so I go, I want to help you step into it even more to build the business that you want. And this isn't always about seven figures or millions here or whatever it is, but build the life and the business that you want and stop following the cookie cutter approach.
00:13:48
Stop beating yourself up about what isn't working, which, let's be honest, is often built on white Caucasian men and what their version of business is. Build the business on your terms. Because there has never before in our existence been this amount of women working corporately and this amount of women running their own businesses. So there's no rulebook. And so I'm all about supporting those women.
00:14:15
And yes, you're bringing some incredible women together on your roadshow who are all amazing teachers and educators, and all of us are taking our own versions of the world and our genius and teaching it and supporting our clients. But the underlying piece has to be this environment where women can be who they want to be, where they can absolutely own their dreams, and where without any fear of judgment or comparisonitis, they know that we've got their backs. And there's a reason I retain clients for seven, 8910 years, and it is because I will pick up the phone, I'm in your corner. And this is not about me. None of what I do now is about me.
00:15:01
It's about you succeeding. And if you need help, I'm there because I never had that. I never had you're calling it your BFF in your corner. I never had that. I never had someone I could call up and just go, I'm having a shit day.
00:15:16
Oh, my God, this client has done this. The kids are driving me mad. I've just had a horrendous argument with my husband. I don't feel like getting out of bed today. I'm really struggling.
00:15:27
As well as that person that you go, yes, oh, my God, I got through it. And I think that is what we need to create. And that's why I'm supporting your work, Becca, because I know you feel the same way. Community isn't just about the stuff. It's not about the Master classes and the events and the retreats and the conferences and the programs.
00:15:49
It's not just that. It has to have this underlying spirit and energy running through it. We were lucky to catch up with a guy called Eddie last week at a gin distillery, brook Farm gin distillery. And he talked about culture and how every person in his organization is bleeding the culture. And in the same way, that's what community is about.
00:16:17
We all have to bleed it. And to make it work, we have to feel it. And you said, can anyone build it? And I go, yes, you can. But as the leader of your tribe, which you're building, the challenge is you have to set the standard.
00:16:35
You've got to set the standard. And so in the early days, you've got to be really clear on what the values of your community are. And you've got to call it when there's a misalignment. And you got to be so, so brave to own that culture, own that value, so that everyone lives and breathes it. Because when I look at Inner Circle and I look at my Elevate community now, it's taken a while, not necessarily in a circle, definitely with Elevate, but it's taken a while for people to really understand what being there for each other is, what collaboration really is, what connection is.
00:17:10
And you've got to be brave enough not only to share what's going on for you, but you got to be brave enough and trust your IP and your work enough to open doors for other people, because when fear is in the way, it just puts those boundaries up completely. And I think you're right, you hit the nail on the head there in terms of it takes time. Like, you've got to really build those relationships from the ground up with care, with care and absolute care. And so building what I'm building now in terms of going from Got, a global vision for the Champagne Lounge, it's very much a case of how do you keep those feels and that safety vibe whilst growing it at scale? Because Community isn't necessarily about the numbers for me.
00:17:53
It's not the numbers that we're building together, it's the reach that we've got. So it's nothing about the numbers involved. It's the reach to open the doors around the world. So in terms of what we've just been talking through, we've got to know each other and we've built networks and our communities based on real life interactions, right? We've had the beauty of doing that, but COVID's bought us a whole different way of doing things virtually, which I think I've met more people virtually and built connections with across the world and had the best time building those relationships.
00:18:26
How do you see that working from a community perspective when it's a virtual space? I think it's exactly the same. I think the principles are the same. Becca, I'm with you. I love the fact that now we can choose how we connect.
00:18:40
There are people in my world that I have never met in person, and we are part of crazy and it's fun. But I think that the principles are the same, that you've got to be intentional, not passive. Someone said last week, didn't they, you got to be 100% in. And yes, you do. You've got to be intentional and committed to the people that are in your orbit, in your network, in your community.
00:19:04
You can't just be passive. You've got to engage. You can't stay silent. And we've all seen that the ones that sort of stay quiet aren't necessarily getting as much from the community. And as a community leader, you got to notice the quietness.
00:19:20
You got to invite them in. You've got to continually watch. This is why I come home from retreat absolutely exhausted, because I'm watching people. I'm watching body language. I'm checking what's going on.
00:19:32
We're always checking how is it? Because you can pick up on these clues and you can do exactly the same online. Because you notice people being quiet. You notice cameras switched off, you notice people not making eye contact, you notice people not being in the chat. And so it's about engaging.
00:19:50
And it's also you said it there, you got to care. You got to care because community culture has always been about knowing and about care. You only have to go back through time and look at these cultures and these communities that are existing thousands and thousands of years later. It's all down to knowing and it's down to caring. And this is why what you're doing is so awesome, because what I have noticed post COVID is people are busier than ever.
00:20:32
And not just busier in terms of stuff mentally, there's so much noise going on in their heads. Whether it be fear for what's going on economically and financially and how that's going to impact them, whether it be fear of the unknown and what's going on in the world, whether it be fear about can I actually do this? Because let's be honest, the noise socially is insane. So if you're having any self doubt, the thing that can really take it down a spiral is you only have to open up Instagram and everybody else's awesome worlds and lives and look at how amazing they're doing, or Facebook or so and so this noise is fueling comparisonitis and self belief and I'm not good enough. And part of caring is the celebration of what we have achieved.
00:21:22
It's knowing that every single day you are making an impact, every single day you are making decisions, every single day you are doing something awesome. And we talk about gratitude journals, but it's more than that. It's about going, what have I done today? And celebrating that. Because for some people, getting out of bed and sending an email or putting a post out is a friggin awesome achievement in them taking the steps in building their journey.
00:21:53
For others, it may be financial. For others, it could be the fact that they're making the toughest. I've got a client in Elevate at the moment that for three months she has been trying to work out, does she dissolve a partnership in terms of a business partnership, and she did it yesterday. That is a massive achievement. And what you've identified is this ability to celebrate these achievements is actually really hard.
00:22:22
We have this thing in a circle, the hashtag shortened. Let's share the stuff you can't tell your girlfriends. And essentially that's what you're doing in Champagne Lands, right, celebratory moments. Because we've just got to stop striving and proving and constantly beating ourselves up for what we don't have or what we haven't achieved or what we haven't got round to, to actually reflecting on actually, what have I done? How have I stepped forward?
00:22:54
And as we talked about this week, in the context of that, what impact have you actually had? Who have you contributed to what has made everything you've done worth doing in this last period of time? And so I think that care piece is that you and you do this, you live and breathe this, Becca. You care about other people's success like I do. And it's more than just, here's the seven easy steps to network.
00:23:23
Here's how to build a landing page. That's the stuff that we're all going to do and share anyway. But it's the care and the deep down care, the real care, the authentic care. I will pick up the phone to you if I know you're in a really bad place. Care that builds community and belief and trust.
00:23:41
Yeah, very much so. You articulate it in such a good way there that I don't have anything else to add to that other than it's one of those things. And we're coming towards the end of the conversation and the episode. One of the key takeaways that we did for us as one of the exercises at the retreat was writing down those people that had impacted us. Right?
00:24:02
So I think that is a really interesting thing, potentially, to try and fit into a monthly review of the month when we sit down as business owners, then we review our numbers, whether that's turnover, whether that's social media following newsletter openings, whatever it is, adding in that, who did I impact here? And it could be down to your team members. Through to I actually managed to walk the dog every day this week. That's a win that helped him. So I think that's a really cool thing to take away.
00:24:31
And one of the other things I think is really awesome, now that we've seen it and we've had the conversation of time and Nurturing is watching for me, watching all the women inside the Elevate community start sharing their wins with their postit notes on champagne bottles. I know really something that I'm like, oh, yes, they're actually stopping and recognizing the importance of what they've been striving for. And it doesn't have to be champagne, champagne is my thing. But it's that thing of stopping and celebrating and making sure that we've got someone around us to go high five when we've done it. But they've also seen us struggle to get there, which I think is a real key factor.
00:25:11
Right, yeah. It's such a great exercise that you initiated there, because I know I'm guilty as the rest of them. I just constantly next, what's next? Next? And my husband often says to me, just stop.
00:25:28
Look at what we've achieved. Oh, yes, okay. And again, I think that comes back from just unconscious training of always having to prove ourselves, of always having to it's interesting, actually, just adding to this. I had a couple of coaching sessions yesterday with some corporate execs women in Corporate, both of which had been promoted. And both of them said to me, why is it that I feel incapable?
00:25:52
And my impostor syndrome has kicked in since the promotion.
00:25:59
Yeah. And I think it comes back to this striving proving, am I good enough? Versus I got promoted because I am good enough. Because I did get noticed. And I said, no one's going to promote you if they don't think you can do the job, so why don't you believe in yourself?
00:26:14
And I think it taps into what you're tapping into of these moments of just acknowledging how far you've come. One of the other exercises we do, which your listeners might want to reflect on, is just think about how long you've actually been working. When was the first moment you started earning money? And for me it was 14. Doing a paper round.
00:26:36
Absolutely petrified. In England, you had to walk up to the front door. Mine was twelve, doing a paper round. And some of those driveways are really long in the country and the dogs. In England, you actually have to go up to the front door, you have to go through the driveway, up the front door and put it through.
00:26:51
And it was so petrified. I got so scared at one time, I used to have to get my mum to drive to some of the houses. Okay. My mom also drove me around a little bit too, because it was dark and it was cold, and there wasn't very many street lights. So look at us privileged newspaper girls right now.
00:27:07
So you think about it. Just think about when you first started work. And often when I ask that question, so many women instantly just think about how long they've been doing what they currently do. So I've only been a coach for two years. I've only been running my own business for three.
00:27:22
I go. No. Go back. When did you start working? If you're listening to this, just think about that.
00:27:29
Is it ten years, 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, 50 years? Whatever it is. The point is that over that time, you have grown. You've acquired skills, you've picked yourself up, you've celebrated, you've won, you've got promotions, you've got pay rises. You've done things that you'd never do before, you've never done before.
00:27:52
You've made mistakes that you would never do again. We've gained so much experience. And so then I go, So why can you not? What gives you the right to not believe that you can do this next phase?
00:28:14
If we can build that muscle of, I absolutely deserve to be here, I'm here. Our beautiful friend Michelle Gregory talked about actually, on reflection, it's all of those choices, all of those decisions, all of the things in the past that have got all of us to where we're at today. And, yeah, she's absolutely right. And so the gift that we have now is taking all of that lovely, delicious juiciness and moving forward with it to do next. But also, Becca, the thing that I think both you and I are really passionate about is making sure we pass the learning down, because I don't want women to experience some of the things that I had to experience.
00:28:58
I don't want them to have to make the mistakes. That whole thing about you got to learn it yourself bullshit. I go, take what I've learned, make it better, take everything, just take it. Because only in that way can we collectively, as women, move forward. And that's why this community is so important.
00:29:17
Community from the perspective of support, of care, of safe environment, of a space where you can be exactly who it is that you are and where you know that knowing that you talk about is able to have a voice.
00:29:42
It's more than just connection and community when it gets to passing that down in terms of the culture and the lessons and the guidance. Because as you said, there were so many lessons learned from all of us in all of the years that, gosh, that's a lot of years to waste trying to learn something that someone else could tell you, how not to do it wrong or how to change it up. So I think there's so much power in that. And we've hit so many gems and elements of community connection here and takeaway activities that I know people listening are going to go away and go, I'm going to go add that in, I want to go add that into what I do. And I'm curious to learn more and curious to have deeper conversations.
00:30:23
So thank you for bringing all of that to the forefront of today's conversation. I can't let you go, though, without asking what's the one thing that you should have celebrated in the last quarter that you haven't yet? You know what? Because I'm looking over here, if you're just listening, I'm looking to my left and on my left, I've got five bottles of champagne with postit notes on. Very differently to me, right?
00:30:51
Because mine are in the fridge, ready to go. Yours are on the side, like, I can see them. But it's also because I've got three teenagers, including two rugby playing boys, and the fridge has got so much food here, I actually can't fit them in. So it was a means to an end. The two that I have yet to open up was one was booking a trip to New York and we've booked that, so I've booked the trip.
00:31:18
I'm going with my eldest son, who is 19 this year, turns 20 this year, and it's going to be one of those priceless, memorable experiences, mum and son together. I imagine it might be one of the last ones, given I'm sure it'll take much bribery for him to come on holidays, mum thereafter. So I'm going to open that one and the other one is we have smashed a sales target that we have been chasing for the last four months and it's still going because we're not at the end of June yet, so the month we absolutely smashed. So, yeah, they're there. And I promise you I will do a photo when I open those.
00:32:02
It I love it. Well, cheers to you and that celebration. I cannot wait to see you pop those open and really celebrate those with you and Jason, because I know both of you have worked extremely hard to make those a reality. Janine, thank you so much for coming on the show. As always, I love chatting to you and I could chat to you for hours, but I feel that we'll then confuse people if we keep going off on the tangents that I know you and I tend to do.
00:32:26
So thank you for coming on today's show. My absolute pleasure. Later.
